ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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