but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
