he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
