do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
