Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
her vagine was all disorganized.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize