Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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