its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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