Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
