Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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