It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
