Tell her she can't have a vagina
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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