That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
