I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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