But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize