dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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