I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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