we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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