Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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