I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
