I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
