There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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