i think my tv is drunk
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
