I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
