They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
