Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Congratulations! We have a period
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