did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
