Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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