Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
