Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
