she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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