I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
