I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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