I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You took a bar mat shot.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
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