We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I made him laugh his dick is mine
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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