Pants 0. Shit 1.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
