I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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