how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
