I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize