I saw his package. It spoke to me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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