i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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