if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
