He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
