My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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