Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
