we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I am naked and annoyed.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize