i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
