i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
