talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I didn't shave. On purpose
wanna go halves on a baby?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
