two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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