check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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