About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
