i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
