I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
