We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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