i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Success! We fucked roommates!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
