you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
