my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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