Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
