In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Still dying that you shit outside
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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