would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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