Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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