I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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