There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
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Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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