my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
