i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
