Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
